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Advice for Republicans in NYC

Christopher Buckley, son of William F. Buckley Jr, had some tips for out-of-towners in Sunday's New York Times [via Brian Clapper]. A few of my favorite ones:

In the event the demonstrators have blocked access to the Upper East Side, try for the editorial offices of National Review (215 Lexington Avenue). Ask for Rich. It is not a code, but the first name of the editor, Richard Lowry. National Review is only a few blocks east of Madison Square Garden. Another safe harbor is the Manhattan Institute (113 West 31st Street). Give the password, "laissez-faire," at the door....

Should you find yourself isolated and surrounded by natives, here are some simple survival tips: refrain from expressing your support for traditional marriage (that is, between human males and females), Arctic oil drilling, or the Second Amendment-guaranteed right to buy shoulder-launched missiles at Wal-Mart despite multiple felony convictions. Stating such views will only end in tears — or in this highly charged environment, tear gas....

A few additional cultural notes: Diversity rules here. New Yorkers pride themselves on being a melting pot, on their embrace of racial, cultural religious differences.

Visiting Republicans frequently ask, "Does diversity include someone who drives a three-ton S.U.V., has never watched `Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,' thinks President Bush actually won in 2000, cannot understand why everyone hates Attorney General John Ashcroft and goes to church every Sunday?"

The answer: "Get out!" Diverse means having relatives in Tierra del Fuego. What you are is obtuse.

For a contrary point of view, see Michael Moore's "The GOP doesn't reflect America" on the USA Today web site[via Dave Farber's IP list].

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